No More Mrs. Nice Mom

No More Mrs. Nice Mom

Article Written by Judith Warner

                Judith Warner talks about a woman named Amy Chua, a mother, and also a professor at Yale law. Her philosophy in raising children is apparent in her book about being a “Tiger Mom”. A tiger mom is a mom that is extremely harsh on their children and accepts nothing but utter perfection from them. The idea is to have resilient, strong kids that will be very successful later in life. Chua uses the Chinese method of raising kids, in that she stresses respect (especially for family), obedience, and basically forces them to play violin and piano. “They are not allowed to pursue loser activities like playing the drums, ‘which leads to drugs,’ …” (Warner). She also disallows her kids to have sleepovers with their friends, watch TV and play videogames. Controlling? You bet. But that’s the point to the method. It’s reminiscent of 1970’s dad that used to take off his belt when you misbehaved, although the tiger mom method is not as physically violent. Emotional violence, on the other hand seems to be in Chua’s utility belt. “‘I don’t want this,’ Chua says, in one particularly memorable moment, when her 4-year-old daughter, Lulu, gives her a birthday card that, the mother judges, couldn’t have taken ‘more than 20 seconds’ to make. ‘I want a better one — one that you’ve put some thought and effort into. . . . I deserve better than this. So I reject this.’” (Warner).

                I can understand some of the points that this woman makes and I also comprehend her ultimate goal for her children, but I would never raise my kids this way. To me it seems so foreign and absurd to be so controlling over their lives like this. Understandably, I would raise my kids to not depend on TV and videogames for fun, but at the same time I understand that everyone needs free time. And if my kids are being forced to play an instrument for hours per day (one that they very well may hate), I wouldn’t deny them the occasional sleepover with friends. Her statement that playing drums leads to the use of drugs sounds like one of the most ignorant comments I’ve heard in a while. What I think leads to drugs is having overbearing parents that give you no wiggle room and eventually drive you to drugs or possibly even suicide. While I understand some of the points she makes, I have to say, she needs to lighten up.

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